why...why must a person who had hurt me so badly before, a person i wish i will never see again enter my life once again. what's worse, she enter my life through my dearest,who is so important to me.


The feeling of fear and nightmare seem to have come back. I feel so scared and helpless, really. Why must it be her out of so many people in this world. Why must it be the only person who had hurt me before intentionally...Actually what happened was in the young and ignorant times. It was only a misunderstanding, it may be only becuz of her little jealousy, but it became the nightmare of my life. The first time i felt human's heart is unpredictable, and how terrible rumours can be. It may already be the past, but i can never forget. Since it's a misunderstanding, which i can't say it's whose fault...I had long forgiven, but yea...forget is hard.


I remembered Yeeling once told me that she hoped i will never met into her again, so that no one can hurt me. Actually, i always believe that human is kind by nature. And time will make a person become more mature. Maybe from the start, she wasn't a bad person and I do believe that she is a better person now. However, the feeling of fear is just so terrible, and hard to cope with. And, i really didn't think i will have the chance to see her again.


I'm afraid, history will have a repeat of itself. I'm afraid of the hurts again. wo...zhen de pa.


Why....it's been so long since i cried out of fear. And so nan de, my tears flowed like a tap. I've become a strong person since the start of Poly, and this is the first time since Poly that my mum seen me so fragile. Perhaps, I am not strong....


Qing ai de, I only have a question for you. Will you believe in me, no matter what happen?