Monday, December 15, 2008
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Hi pple, before I disappeared for don't-know-how-many-donkey-years, I will update! Hmms, so holidays had finally arrived after so much anticipation! I'm really in this holiday mood now, not wanting to do anything else! But finally, IEP implementations are over, let's hope market research will be over soon too, and please no hiccups! Being leader for a major assignment is really a sian thing, but not knowing why, the process of conducting market research kind of interest me a little (except for the survey-ing). =P oh ya, IEP supervision is a huge success too! My intervention 4, though not really that great, but ended pretty well too! Lots of assignments to be done, but hey...where's the mood??Been thinking through really alot too. Got a lot of things wanna express, but I totally don't know where to start like seriously. Hmms, I still thinks words are better expressed using chinese; chinese holds more meaningful words....but then, I'm lazy to type in chinese. So pardon me, you may not understand what I am talking about. .... know what? I really hate missing someone! It's so painful and I don't feel like myself at all! I didn't used to miss you that much, I didn't used to realise your importance that much, I didn't used to wanting to talk to you that much, I didn't used to look forward to your sms that much, I didn't used to anticipate seeing you that much. For all the past 12 years, I didn't used to experience all that! It was you, who experienced. And now, i very much knows how it feels like now! And yes, it is a total sucky feeling!Not that I didn't experienced missing and liking someone before, I did and was rather a memorable one. But the feeling was so different. Why different? Because you were the one who showered me with love and concern each time I looked into your eyes, because you were the one who understands me, because you were the one who never failed to be there, because you were the one who care about me more than anybody else did....because you ARE the one now. I don't know whether you will still be what you used to be, but I do still feel your love and concern, I do still feel that you care alot...each time I feel that I'm not important to you, you gave me a message, a simple one but at the right moment. Just a message for me to know that you remembers me. Each time I need comfort, your message came in. Why? Just so for me to know how you feel. If yes, why do I still feel so unsecured.will you still be there each time I need you? I know it isn't your fault that you couldn't be here, but I need the sense of assurance. Sorry that I couldn't give you my whole trust, make it this way...the one that I couldn't trust is myself. I don't have the confidence that after 12 years, you will still love me like you used to, I don't have the confidence that you will always be here like what you used to say. Life is so much like a drama~ this is a true saying. For someone I onced like so much, so much that I thought I would never like anybody else that much, I gave up you and you were hurt. After 6 years, that guy hurt me so badly and left. We weren't together, yes we weren't but the pain was not any lighter. Could you ever imagine someone you like so much telling you to give up and not wait anymore. It was a true stab at the heart, but through this stab, I finally saw your true heart, finally understood that the only person who will stay is you....finally realised that perhaps you meant the most afterall. I was too young to understand this back then. But things changed. You've been hurt, so were i. Two persons who had been hurt so terribly before, could never said the true words again. Those innocent but very true confessions, I will never hear from you again. Your heart didn't change, I know that. But I know better, your heart has a wound unhealed. Should i tell you? What if it means I gonna lose you?
I confessed my love for BABY at
11:28 PM
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