Thursday, July 31, 2008
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*147*
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Attachment's finally over. I have survived 245 hours of attachment, but why...I don't feel as excited as I thought I would, I don't feel as happy as I thought I would. In fact, there's really no happiness, other than a relief. I'm beginning to believe that children is my life, children is my source of laughter....and they are the ones I love with my whole heart, yet loving them and teaching them are two different things. 2 months ago, I was wondering why they must set this Field Practicum 3.1 thingy to make us feel more stressed, but now, I feel that Field Practicum 3.1 is a good thing, because it test your love for children and whether this line is for you. Through this practicum, I have confirmed my love and passion for children, though whether being a teacher not is still undecided. I don't know why I felt so attached to the children, hmms....of course ahhs, facing them daily, but I think the main reason is they are really sweet and I'm really too emotional. =PPutting in too much feelings for children might not be a good thing as it will be very difficult to withdraw after that, but i'd rather be a teacher who feel for the children. I suppose this might be why the 2 supervisors said I'm cut out to be a teacher. Xian zhi, Rachel....Miss xinyi really miss you lots! I felt like i've wasted the first few weeks pondering and stressing over my workload that i've neglected the time with children! Damn assessments!I've pasted the poster they made and pictures of my beloved on my wall. When i was pasting them yesterday, I told my mum "I want to put up the poster and pictures because they are the evidence and achievements of being a teacher. This poster is nice not only because of the decorations, it's nice because it's their group efforts. This might be my last time being a teacher, i've no idea whether i'll choose teaching as my future path....but they gave me this chance to feel great about teaching. I want to remember all these forever.". After saying, I felt so much like crying, even my silly mum want to tear. lols =PIt's been 3 days, and I'm still not feeling all right. I need time bahs, need time to get over this overwhelming emotions! I want to go back and visit them tmr, but should I? Hmms.....but the main thing now is to complete my 24 pages of final report and submit them tomorrow! All my emotions are stopping me to work....no mood! no mood! no mood!Thanks for your messages. I know it doesn't mean anything, but still, I'm happy that you remembered me and initiated contact with me. I don't know how much I mean to you, but you certainly do mean something. But why is it that....you were never here when I need you the most?
I confessed my love for BABY at
2:55 PM
YYY
