Hello people! I'm here to do a short update =P
Yesterday went to East Coast Park to celebrate my darling, JUNE's birthday! Hahas, finally 18 le worh. Hmms, not much people went but still hope, my darling enjoyed this small celebration for her, and hope she like the present! =D We didn't really do anything there, hahahas just simply sit on the stone and chit-chat. BUT I felt really contented yesterday, reason being...I saw a sky of stars! It's really a sky of stars, they are so beautiful! I love looking at the sky, and looking at the stars blinking at me as though they are smiling, but it had been a long time since i saw a sky of stars. that's why really contented =)
Looking at the sky of stars, for a moment, i felt a touch at my heart. I have no idea if it was supposed to be happiness or sadness. But I felt the tinge of touched....I remembered for that six years, when you were always on my mind, I would sit on my bed and look at the stars whenever I couldn't sleep. In the darkness, the stars look so bright. I don't know why, but back then, I really love to make wishes to the brightest star, and each time it blink, it's just felt like the stars agreeing to my wishes. It was such a joyful feeling, and sometimes the wishes really do come true =)
But, for a very long time, I didn't see a sky of stars or rather I was too busy to even look into the sky anymore. Yesterday, I felt so touched to see the sky of stars again, however, I forgot to make a wish, was too engrossed into looking =P
I promised you i will give up and find my own happiness, i am really trying very hard to, but after all you once made such a great impact on me. The hurts were so great that I have no idea when will i recover completely. I thought I had, but apparently not quite yet. Don't worry, I'm trying hard, one day I really will. Tonight, i will look into the sky again, and if I am lucky enough to spot a bright star, I will make a wish. I wish that we will all be happy, and i know the stars will make the wish come true =)
Hahas, want to share a song here. It's 萧敬腾：原谅我. A really nice song. Had been so long since I felt like crying to a song. Hahahas, try listening? =P
Forgive me, that i had not made the promise come true yet
P.S: The MOON was BRIGHT and ROUND yesterday too! =P
I confessed my love for BABY at
4:25 PM
YYY
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
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*141*
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Suddenly, it occured to me that....my feelings are gone.Perhaps for the rest of this life, nothing will hurt me anymore, nothing will affect me. Perhaps. How good it is to not be able to feel sadness. But I know very well, this won't be the true me.
I confessed my love for BABY at
2:14 AM
YYY
Monday, June 09, 2008
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*140*
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Hi....breathless and helpless is all i am feeling now. I know i shouldn't complain, because this is my choice. But but....i didn't know this choice is going to take me so much. I started with this course, thinking that all i am going to face are innocent and cute faces and I felt confident that even if I faced problems, all these faces will help me to overcome. Now, I am proven so very wrong! My passion and love had been totally killed. It has been 4 days! and i still feel so worried and stressed. I bet all of the year 3 are feeling the same way now. We are just being left so helpless. It's the 2 weeks holidays now, and all of the people after surviving the common tests, are rejoicing and enjoying now. How i hope i have common tests than attachment, at least the pain only last for a few days. But no, holidays....we are left sitting in front of the laptop, worrying about our Field Practicum assignments (6 sequential lesson plans, brainstorm web, subject web, 4pages newsletter, 5 activities each for 2 learning corners, assessments by mentor and field supervisor). Other than that, there's still CIRPE assignment which I am totally at loss of what to do but need to present on 7 July, and and, what else? DAC reflection. None of them had been completed till date.For the very first time, I really got the feeling that I won't make it. Though how much I know i couldn't give up, the feeling is just too strong. 245hours mingling with children is already very tiring. Many people have been telling me "Spending time with children only, can be very fun de, be positive!" Yah, why not you come and try? Np explained to us why we are not paid. Reason being, education is not industrial area, therefore there's no payment. I don't mind not being paid, but since we are not paid, why are we being pushed to do so much??A good question posted by my friend in her blog " Does the reason, i like children, suffice enough to be in this course?" I don't know. It used to be enough, but now....nobody knows. I guess, for the first time, my jie told me she wants to give up. Upon hearing this, I feel perhaps now is the extreme period. I just feel so much like crying now. If crying can help to reduce stress, I will certainly cry a bucket now.All i can do now is only try hard and JIA YOU!! friends, jia you bahs!Countdown: 27 days.
I confessed my love for BABY at
12:50 AM
YYY
